The Past Two weeks have been rough … Been pushing my lucky a little too much..End up drinking with someone or the other. Sticking to my limits though..
A few days back i was on my way to meet up a friend. Got a call from i guy i had not seen in the past 2 weeks. Heard his mom was diagnosed with cancer 2 weeks back…And she was in her final stages..
I stalled my plans for the night thought i’d spend some time with him.. I lost someone in my family a few months back to cancer and have seen what kinda trauma one may go thru .. before finally giving in ..
As our conversations went on after a few drinks.. i could see him vent his frustration about his mom..
They seemed to have discharged her for a few days from the hospital and she ended up doing the household chores as soon as she got back … Well knowing quite a few super women in my life including one in my house …i know how though it can be to reason with them… so i guess his frustration was justified
Its cause one cares and loves.. .. he or she would give into expressing anger when their advise or suggestion is not taken seriously by a loved one in vain … i have been in that spot tons of times… it was ok for me to give into anger in some situations .. while some situations i wished i could have shown some level of patience. i am not going to get into details here…
Wishes will always be wishes
He happened to speak to me about situation where he lost his cool and started screaming at his mom to go relax and not to be difficult…i could see a myst in his eyes… let him vent uninterrupted
Once he was done i wanted to get my point across to him…
Me : When you were 8 yrs old and say you failed a subject in school.. Didn’t your mom scream at you ?
Him : Yes
Me: And when you were sick Did she sit by all night around you.. ignoring anything and everything you ever did or were doing wrong ?
Him: Yes
Him: I don’t get your point
Me: i’ll get my point across to you .. Just give me a minute to explain my thoughts here
Me: When one is a kid.. Parents are pretty much your guardian angles till you come of age.. They love , care , feed and guide you for the better part of your life … Considering an obvious fact that children can be molded more easily then grown ups.. Their (Parents) effect on you tends to fade away with time .. your surroundings, experiences and perspective takes over .. Finally you reach a stage where your the man you made yourself to be. With some pointers by your folks .. do you agree with me ?
Him: Yes
Me: While all this was happening .. Your Parents were going older ?
Him: Yes
Me: Your parents are already the individuals they have made themselves to be… No matter how you want things to be. You still can only use words. And the best way to use your words is with love and patience… Considering that they are way past that stage of adapting to changes. its you who needs to be wise and adapt to them….Sure i understand that she is doing something wrong ..But when you were 8 didn’t she sit by you all night ignoring anything you ever did wrong… And i’d lay a bet she would still do the same when your 25…
My observation over the years and i am pretty convinced about it.. from personal experience
When one is young infant.. He or she is pretty much dependent upon their parents .. But as time passes by one becomes self sufficient .. However a shift happens
A child once taken care by a guardian… is now taking care of the guardian who is a child….The older people get … the more rigid and childish they do get at times. Standing by them like they stood besides you is the only thing one needs to do…
Cause one day a shift will happen again….
Patience is a virtue… We learn to pickup over time. However its worthless if not used in situations with people who mean the most to us…
Peace
TimberDaWolf
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