Life n its Lessons

The problems you face will either defeat you or develop you — depending on how you respond to them. Unfortunately most people fail to see how life wants to use problems for good in their lives. They react foolishly and resent their problems rather than pausing to consider what benefit they might bring.

1. Life uses problems to DIRECT you. Sometimes Life must light a fire under you to get you moving. Problems often point us in a new direction and motivate us to change. Is Life trying to get your attention?

2. Life uses problems to INSPECT you. People are like tea bags . . . if you want to know what’s inside them, just drop them into hot water! Has Life ever tested your faith with a problem? What do problems reveal about you?

3. Life uses problems to CORRECT you. Some lessons we learn only through pain and failure. It’s likely that as a child your parents scold you not to touch a hot stove. But you probably learned by being burned. Sometimes we only learn the value of something … health, money, a relationship . . . by losing it.

4. Life uses problems to PROTECT you. A problem can be a blessing in disguise if it prevents you from being harmed by something more serious. Last year a friend was fired for refusing to do something unethical that his boss had asked him to do. His unemployment was a problem — but it saved him from being convicted and sent to prison a year later when management’s actions were eventually discovered.

5. Life uses problems to PERFECT you. Problems, when responded to correctly, are character builders. Life is far more interested in your character than your comfort. Your relationship to Life and your character are the only two things you’re going to take with you into eternity.

Until you really don’t learn … A “loop” is all that you will follow..

Do everything with a mind that lets go.
Do not expect any praise or reward.
If you let go a little, you will have a little peace.
If you let go a lot, you will have a lot of peace.
If you let go completely, you will know complete peace and freedom.
Your struggles with the world will have come to an end.

- Achaan Chah

I woke up with morning… Checked my emails as usual …Was a little surprised to find an email from someone with a picture of myself and my dad back in the days…

Its been a while since I saw that picture… but it did bring back some memories

Some good.. and Some bad …

If our life’s were a book…. would you look at each day as a page … a month as a chapter ???  I know I do.. and each day is a master piece on its own … irrespective of how abstract it may seem to others …

I can’t change history nor can I change actions and events of the past … its simply beyond my control… there are higher forces of nature in play here… The unforeseen future may hold in store many such instances too …Shall deal with them when its time to cross those bridges…

One known maxim that drives my life … emotion is like the wind … it will always come knocking on your doors and windows …  whether  we choose to open is a whole different story all together …Sometimes its not worth opening closed chapters in your life … as the end result cannot be changed no matter how you look at it ..

Open chapters are a whole different story …

Cheers
Timber Da Wolf

its funny thing this life .. sometimes the smallest things you do for someone or the smallest of mistakes you commit.. help you in a very very big way ….

For the past 2 years i have been doing small favors for someone i know … it did’nt take much effort nor did it take much time ..never expected anything out of it …

the favour saved my skin this weekend

i remember committing a silly mistake about 2 months back.. considering the situation then i kicked myself for being so careless … i could have just ignored that mistake and moved on with my life … but for some strange reason i still had it in my wallet ..

And guess what … its saving my skin tomorrow

Every man makes mistakes .. i have made countless … some i have learnt from .. some well maybe i will never learn from.. Maybe thats just me .. Maybe life has not thought me a harsh enough lesson to act upon …

But each day that i live … i learn to appreciate life alot more for its wonders….

Peace
Timber Da Wolf

One of the most memorable case studies on Japanese management was the case of the “Empty Soap Box”, which happened in one of Japan’s biggest cosmetics companies. Following is the Case Study

The Problem
The company received a complaint that a consumer had bought a soap box that was empty. Immediately the authorities isolated the problem to the assembly line, which transported all the packaged boxes of soap to the delivery department. For some reason, one soap box went through the assembly line empty. Management asked its engineers to solve the problem.

The Solution
Post-haste, the engineers worked hard to devise an X-ray machine with high-resolution monitors manned by two people to watch all the soap boxes that passed through the line to make sure they were not empty. No doubt, they worked hard and they worked fast but they spent a fortune doing so.

The Smart Solution
When this same problem was posed by a small company, they did not get into complications of X-rays, etc but instead came out with another solution. They bought a strong industrial electric fan and pointed it at the assembly line. He switched the fan on, and as each soap box passed the fan, it simply blew the empty boxes out of the line.(Genius)

Moral of the story: KISS (Keep It Simple, Stupid) i.e.always look for simple solutions. Devise the simplest possible solution that solves the problem.

So, learn to focus on solutions not on problems

For the past few weeks i have been super busy .. barely have time to stop and think about life going on around me … or even my life the path its headed ..

I get home late at nights .. catch up on some dinner maybe a movie and hit the sack …. i really don’t fall asleep unless i am dead tired … its almost as if i stretch myself to the limits of physical exhaustion …

For the past 4 years .. this question has been hitting me every now and then .. something’s missing ?? something’s missing ?  a feeling creeps in as if my day was not complete…

i have asked myself this question to figure out whats missing maybe a million times .. but never seemed to find the answer…

I have tried going out with friends .. keeping myself pinned down with work .. heading out for some fresh air in the woods … or just being a bum at home … nothing seems to work

With every question in our minds we wrestle with the absence of something

I can want what i want, but i can only get so much before i am relying on others to supply it. And others will never supply everything to my exact specifications.

So i try and make the best of what I’ve got. Not everybody is blissfully happy with the result, but any effort to improve my life circumstances will still be limited to only what i can do about it.

You can center your life on what you lack, or you can center it on what you have.

Peace
Timber Da Wolf

A group of alumni, highly established in their careers, got together to visit their old university Professor.

Conversation soon turned into complaints about stress in work and life.

Offering his guests coffee, the Prof. went to the kitchen and returned with a large pot of coffee and an assortment of cups: porcelain, plastic, glass, some plain-looking and some expensive and exquisite, telling them to help themselves to hot coffee.

When all the students had a cup of coffee in hand, the Prof. said “If you noticed, all the nice-looking, expensive cups were taken up, leaving behind the plain and cheap ones. While it is but normal for you to want only the best for yourselves, that is the source of your problems and stress. That all of you really wanted was coffee, not the cup, but you consciously went for the better cups and are eyeing each other’s cups.”

“Now, if Life is coffee, then the jobs, money and position in society are the cups. They are just tools to hold and contain Life, but the quality of Life doesn’t change. Sometimes, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the coffee in it.”

1. Tunnel Vision : The tendency to focus only on the immediate crisis or sore spot . Under stress, things look worse or more complex than they really are.

The solution
Perspective : Ask if it will matter in 6 months . Ask what else is going on? How did I create this situation and, in an ideal world, what would I like to do about it?

2. Fear : The anxiety or terror that things will go badly, that we will fail or be embarrassed.

The solution
Humor and Curiosity : Modern life has very few saber-tooth tigers . The situation is rarely life or death . Ask, What’s the worst that can happen? What’s the best? What can I learn? What would I do if I had no fear?

3. Confusion : The sense of being lost or unclear about our direction . The sense that we don’t know our own priorities anymore.

The solution
Responsible Choices : Choose your values and priorities and set your own path . Your life is yours . Check your moral compass, pick a direction and do something extraordinary!

4. Guilt : The belief that we have hurt or failed or sinned and deserve punishment . Guilt is either accurate, because sometimes we do behave badly, or it is false and simply an illusion.

The solution
If we have transgressed, we must make restitution, ask forgiveness, learn from our error and move on . If it is false guilt, set it down as an unnecessary and irrational burden.

5. Shame : The belief that we are worth-less than others, that we have a terrible, incurable flaw . It is not that we have done something wrong (guilt), but that we are bad or wrong.

The solution
Clear, rational thinking : Everyone has behaved badly, but no one was created badly! Any flaws only serve to make you stronger, more heroic or more compassionate toward others.

6. Loneliness : The belief that no one loves us, that no one cares and we must desperately cling to anyone who finds us attractive or acceptable . This creates dependency, not intimacy.

The solution
Accurate Self-Assessment : Not everyone will love you, but many people will if they meet you, get to know you, and spend time working/playing along side you.

7. Resentment : Holding anger and refusing to move beyond real or imagined mistreatment in the past . Some people spend their whole lives as “victims”, nurturing a terrible event in their past.

The solution
Let go! Life is not fair and people do not always behave well or kindly . Use your trauma to make you wise, kind, gentle, and strong . Holding anger will not work.

8. Self-Doubt : The repeated, endless questioning of your own abilities, opinions or actions . The inability to take a stand, to act boldly, or to follow-through.

The solution
Action! Think clearly, then take action and follow-through : Start small, but do it! You are the world’s expert on your life! Use your wisdom to live well.

9. Stubbornness : The refusal or inability to re-assess a situation, change your mind, or admit you were wrong.

The solution
Wisdom and Humility : Only a fool stays on a course that is headed for disaster! Search for new and better information, remain flexible, open and creative . When the situation changes, adjust accordingly and set a new course.

10. Addiction : Humans become addicted to drugs, but we also become addicted to our jobs, our opinions or our lifestyle . We can be addicted to people and need them rather than love them.

The solution
Take a vacation! Periodically, walk in someone else’s shoes . Break your habits, re-arrange your schedule, delegate those things that only you can do “right” . Use habits and traditions to set you free, don’t let habits enslave you!

A square only fits a square …

Don’t like squares ?

Take any shape .. Still doesn’t change a thing

i am so in my element tonight

Peace
Timber Da Wolf

It was a funny evening .. i was out with a few friends at baluchi’s just for casual drinks and dinner ..

During the course of the night friend happened to mention that he is really disappointing he has not had a two way click with anyone post his first wife with whom he parted ways about 4 years back … Either she is not indian or there is no chemistry or her priorities are not matching with mine or she slept with me on the first date.. the list goes on and on

i stayed with the guy for 3 years so i kinda know about the women that he has been dating over the years …and if i were t give my honest opinion .. at 42 … i think he has his bar of expectations set too high..

The second guy who was on the table is 30 something … don’t know him too well but i have heard him talk about his preference a couple of times .. and i honestly thought he needs to look on mars for a match

i know someone who is 56 and single …craves everyday that he had someone special to only talk…

The night was young and drinks where pouring across the bar … but for some strange reason i was stuck in a moment .. a lingering thought …

I first fell in love when i was 13 … with a girl that i saw one glimpse of ..went out with her for eternity.. piratically grew up with her

The second time i was 21 and well took me a month .. but i did take the leap again .. with a real bumpy 4 year ride… almost made it though

The Third time i was 26 ..took me a year … and it ended even before it started

I am 27 now …. “P” is 42 and “V” is 30 something “A” is 52 … hmm

Individual outlook ? Hmm maybe…. but not convincing enough

Man learns with time .. as he grows older mostly with experience…which shapes his perspective. But what man perceives need not always be the truth

The more i thought about it the more i came to terms with the fact .. That its human nature to complicate things…. even if the answer hit you smack in between your eyes…

Ignorance towards others individuality and obsession with our search for perfection often lets one miss out on the small joys of life …

As a wise man once told me.. if you seek mangoes in winter .. you shall find none

Peace
Timber Da Wolf