Life n its Lessons

Not sure what triggered it but in the last 2 years i have not felt the need to write .. somewhere down the line i stop questioning and started accepting certain constants … its not that i have not had thoughts … but for some strange reason never pursued them deeper .. its either work or the business or the family or my girl…somewhere between all of this i lost me …

All this while i valued things more then myself to find coming full circle at a place where the essence of me is questioned .. its been 9 years since someone asked me this question and honestly it just blew me to shreds once more ..

I looked up to the stars tonight hunting for my old man … as the wind hit me .. a tear rolled down my cheek and i asked for a little more heart and a little more strength  to keep going ..

Do people really matter ?

Been a while since i wrote … i guess i got caught up in the day to day again ..

The world around me gets stranger by the day … And the people i know get even more strange ..

Oscillations based on needs is a rather amusing sight … Not that it matters and i’d still do things the way i always have ..

Just another chip of respect lost along the way ..

Someone once told me if you have the heart be true to the world around you … if not at least yourself and the rest will unfold like a pack of cards …

Sometimes i weigh happiness with the scares left behind forging a character .. does it really matter this much to me or is i merely an illusion

Half my life has gone by living by these principles .. only if i could look 30 years into the future and know what the end result was

Standing at a cross road flipping a coin never did appeal to me .. but i still am

Man is still very much his own mould … its only a matter of choice ..

Cheers
Timber

There are times i question the perseverance that drives me … There are times i question my motives from all this … I dont seem to get an answer but i usually end up with a smile on my face … with a strange thought of hitting a wall which is finally me..

No matter how much someone questions me about my smile that moment or how much i try and see whats beyond that wall .. i can’t

Luck has always been a bitch to me in matters of the heart… i can see it but i cannot touch it … only be touched …

its been 10 years and i am asking myself the same question again .. starting down the same path again .. wiser but none the less a lil pissed to roll my sleeves up again …

if prayers were answered and if the cry of a soul holds some water … i’d say please not again .. as i keep dancing to the tunes i hope nothing but the best …

To find pleasure in numbness is a strange art … and i am getting better at it

Cheers
Timber

Exploring the darker corners of life seems be my vice these days .. i see things for what they are rather then what they seem to be ..

A cigarette may seem the need of a tense hour … a drink may seem the need at the end of a long day … But its not the solution is it ?

When one digs his own hole .. so must he learn to cover them .. and boy what a ride its been so far.. not only have i been covering my holes but also of people who once were …reminds me of a famous quote by Adam Smith

“How selfish soever man may be supposed, there are evidently some principles in his nature, which interest him in the fortunes of others, and render their happiness necessary to him, though he derives nothing from it, except the pleasure of seeing it.” Adam Smith 1759

Decoupling the mysteries of life and the tiny little self  seems to be a everyday routine these days …starts as a thought .. grows as a thought .. wraps around me like the swirl of a wave …and syncs to the heart like the melody of a symphony..

There never was a constant to myself no matter how constant it seemed to others .. there never is a constant to anyone actually and it would be foolish to pin up hopes to …. let alone expectations ….

Someone asked me a strange question today … if i was scared of something ? Yes i replied ..

Of What if you don’t mind me asking ? Me .. its always been Me

Cheers
Timber

I was dead tired this evening went from a beer to wine to chai

Sometimes i wonder if i was dropped on my head when i was born … but i guess we all have our crazy sides .. atleast i hope we do

U2 was the flavor this evening…. and for some strange reason their music keeps reminding me of the crazy days back home .. that seem like memoirs from another life

i clocked about 43000 kms on my bike in the first 3 years thru  hot summer days and rain filled monsoons and  …   less the 3000 in the last 5 .. she still lays parked where she always did don’t ever think i would get rid of her

The 15 minute ride back home was a pleasure .. just one of those times where i would spread my wings with sucidal tendencies.. the best i clocked was 12 minutes ..

The last time  i was home i thought i would take her for a long ride and open up the engine a bit ..Just never did end up doing so i wonder why …Maybe it was the bad back that kept me off her …

The 8 months i did spend in mumbai i guess i was too in engrossed  with the  blue eyed beauty… i have very few passions in life .. and love a simple life for the most part … but every once in a while i give my heart into something … and then it just seems to be my agenda to perfection .. some close friends find my habits rather unusual … But i always wonder .. is a life worth living if a man cannot peruse the small joys of life .. even if they were at a high cost .. so much of our life goes living for others .. at least most of mine has … and for the most part will in the near and the distant future …

Cheers
Timber

Just the way i like to start things… Better odds i guess when you use a blank slate.

But all these years of working with some intellectual and not so intellectual people makes me contemplate my instinct which has built over the years..

I bump into people ever now and then that have made their millions … and maybe some who are on their way to making their millions

Makes me wonder if stupidity does find its way more often with time … in a so called genius

If a penny saved is a penny earned.. then why is there so much emphasis only on earn …

Maybe its just the high of the cash ringing in that sometimes one tends to forget a business needs to be built to last..

Ability to be lean and mean depends alot on strategy …And Strategy requires a vision..but vision at times can carry you away if you ignore reality in all its gravity..

I don’t know here … maybe i will give it a few more months and be an optimist

Cheers
Timber

So my first week working in chico ..

I don’t know how to put this but i guess i am just not used to a 9-5 job .. But i am starting to like the idea behind it

Unfortunately don’t really have much of a social circle down here … Everyone i speak to at work seems to be married with atleast one kid ..

Sometimes makes me wonder if i should tie the knot too … Nothing against married people … but they are just not as  available to go bar hopping or maybe have some fun…

i have been and worked around people who are generally a lot older than me.. so i am pretty used to their lifestyle and priorities …

But i did notice this interesting fact about american families although they are not as tied in as indian families but for whatever short period they are .. they are a very closely knit group

i met this guy brandon at work pretty cool guy he just moved to chico too but every time we seem to strike a conversation  about his move he seems to always use the word “We” insted of  “I”

I know not much is spoken well about American Family Culture …. But i really do think sometimes some things need appreciation

And no matter how much of a family man i call myself … brandon sure did get one up on me with that one …

Cheers
Timber

Form beyond the stars as if someone was watching over ..now and always

Is it really the rain bird ?

Don’t  know where the next two months would take me…  i do know i am walking thru doors i would never wish to open again … Another Chapter comes to a close .. the most dramatic one so far ..

Leaving behind four facets so near and dear … that i thought i would never let go .. memoirs they shall be…

Looked upon the stars and wished .. Sacral Nirvana i did’nt expect

As i move to the tune of life….The spirit still dreams and the mind still drives…like it always has ..

From the ashes rose a phoenix … now its just a man ..

Peace
Timber Da Wolf

I wished upon an star ..like we all do

Little did i know the truth would unfold quick .. He is a master of his art i was once told ..

For now i truely belive … Events in the past may be roughly divided into those which probably never happened and those which do not matter anymore.. Circumstances around me do not make me who i am..  Only brings out the unknown..

Galileo once quoted

“All truths are easy to understand once they are discovered; the point is to discover them”  

Unconventional was always the key …

Peace
Timber Da Wolf

Nothing hurts me more then cutting loose someone i trust..

Its really unfortunate under what conditions people conceive notions and base their actions upon.. maybe its just  my stupidity that i till date believe that there are a handful few out there who one can trust.. After all there is alot more that defines an individuals life .. beyond the individual himself…

Life is a product of surroundings and experiences that give shape to your perspective .. which in return defines your reality

Cherish what you hold .. for everyone is not that fortunate

Cheers
Timber Da Wolf