Life n its Lessons

Been a while since i wrote … i guess i got caught up in the day to day again ..

The world around me gets stranger by the day … And the people i know get even more strange ..

Oscillations based on needs is a rather amusing sight … Not that it matters and i’d still do things the way i always have ..

Just another chip of respect lost along the way ..

Someone once told me if you have the heart be true to the world around you … if not at least yourself and the rest will unfold like a pack of cards …

Sometimes i weigh happiness with the scares left behind forging a character .. does it really matter this much to me or is i merely an illusion

Half my life has gone by living by these principles .. only if i could look 30 years into the future and know what the end result was

Standing at a cross road flipping a coin never did appeal to me .. but i still am

Man is still very much his own mould … its only a matter of choice ..

Cheers
Timber

After 26 yrs of my life …and Number of serious and casual relations i came to a realization which never struck me before.. An individuals Character is the safest long term bet you can have on them …

I was heading back home from work and a old college buddy gave me a buzz .. Did’nt have anything better to do so figured i would catch up with him.

Sitting at a bar he was blowing his horns about casually dating a married woman at work.. I was not surprised but to bust his chops i just asked him…

Me : Hey How old are you now ?
Him : 25 Yrs
Me: Cool so i am sure you would be married in a few years .. have anything on your cards ?
Him : Maybe in a few years
Me : Hey you know there maybe a remote possibility a few years down the line when your married. You could have 2 Single guys sitting in this bar and discussing your wife … lol
Him : STOP Don’t you dare say another word on that … i’ll find myself a decent girl
Me : Ah
Me : So looks like it maybe arranged
Him : I guess it could be …
Me : Hmmm…
Me: So a thought just occurred to me so your saying the current married chic you are dating is not a decent chic hence you are going out with her to have a good time .. But you would only marry a decent chic ?
Him : Correct
Me: Being the smart ass i am ” Hey so is there a remote possibility that the decent chic you decide to marry suddenly has the realization that she has not explored life and decides to change her approach post you guys get married”

He Looked at me stunned.. With No answer

Me: So either ways you are screwd

Anyways we ended that conversation … i lit up a smoke .. as i took the first puff …
It hit me maybe character of an individual is the safest long term bet

There is a Chinese saying ” Its easier to change the course of a river or the shape of a mountain .. Then to change and Individuals Character… ”

Individuals Change with time and keep changing till the end of their time … There is no known constant from birth to death ..

Food for thought ?

Peace
Timber Da Wolf

The Human Defense Mechanism or in Other words the guard we keep up around us is a pretty interesting facet of human nature.

It generally tends to shape itself from experiences we have had in our life’s and a matter of personal choice. Hard to imagine but every individual seems to have a different one.

Give it a thought Experience + Personal Choice

Bad Breakup - Bad Experience, One decides to never love again
Bad Breakup - Bad Experience, One Decides to move on and give it another shot
Bad Breakup - Bad Experience, One Decides to Move on and not make the same mistakes again
Bad Breakup - Bad Experience, One Decides to take relationships as a joke and just stick to flings

The Permutations and Combination’s are limitless. However this is actually influencing many other aspects of ones life don’t you think ?

Defenses Going up and Coming up all around us everyday but only to the individuals who they relate to know about it.

Does This Mechanism influence your state of mind ?
Does it drive away something good which maybe entering your lives ?
Does it Protect One from Hurting themselves again ?
Does it Help you to stay happy ?

Well the answer i found was : Yes to all of them

Now i started pondering with the question how do i have the best of both worlds cause from what you see the mechanism although helps protect you could also be driving the good things of life away from one.

Ah the perfectionist me at work again (Many People i know hate this aspect of me)

I pondered with this situation for years before it struck me…

One can’t really let down their defenses that would be stupid. But Only if applied a few more measures besides his or her defenses

a) Start anything in life with a clean slate (Relations, Work, Anything) with no relation to such events in your past.
b) Gave it time. Like one would give a plant water in expectation for it to bloom as a tree one day
c) Your Intuition followed by a keen eye.
d) Positive attitude to try if you fail once in this experiment.

Well i gave it a shot, And Guess what well i Failed

Put some thought into why i failed. Well my Intuition was wrong. i tired changing some one with the above. Realized after many years the above would only allow one to accept or reject some one thru their defenses. Not change someones nature. There is a Chinese saying i read once.. its easier to change the shape of a mountain or course of a river then to change some ones character…

Still Pondering to Improve this theory . Give it a thought give it a shot should work for a select few who understand it. i am almost getting it to work

Peace
Timeber Da Wolf